Like so many people in these hard economic times, I’m will be losing my job. I’m lucky – I’ve been given a couple of months notice to plan and prepare. When I first found out, I jumped on to the track that I usually follow – started updating my resume and looking for another job in my field. But my heart wasn’t really into it. I couldn’t get that excited about the opportunities that are out there (and there are opportunities if you look for them.) Over the recent long weekend, I took some time to really think about what I wanted. I thought back to when I was a kid and when I was in university and what my hopes and dreams were. I even dug out my high school year book and there it was in black and white – to be a writer.
Deep down this is what I have always really wanted, but somehow I got sucked into the idea that I have to do something sensible, have a career, a title and make serious money. Well, I have all those things and I am not happy. This will be the third job in a row that I have been laid off from – all three have been due to the company’s financial situation and not my performance. But really, the universe seems to be sending me a message. Follow your own path. Follow your heart.
I tend to see things in black and white – have a career and make money/be a writer and be poor. But really, does it have to be that way? There are lots of writers who have done well. Of course, there are plenty of writers who have never made it, but at least they tried. I have to try and have faith that I can make money at it. I could do PR work freelance and give myself time to write. Have faith that if I really give myself the time to develop my writing, that I will improve and that I can get things published. Make a go of it.
I must seize this opportunity and go for it.
The other day at work, the Chair of our Board of Directors asked me what I was going to do after my job ended. I spilled out that I was going to take time to write. This was the first time I had the courage to actually talk about what I want to do and it is beginning to feel real.